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Early LifeEdit

Cygnus Evans was born in 1990 to Randy and Rosier Evans. He had two sisters, but no brothers. Cygnus came from the wealthy Evans family, and as such he was given a rich lifestyle. Cygnus attended New York Elementary, like Cynthia Thomas would do later. From the start he had an interest in the dark side, and virtually idolized the NoHeads. He was also friends with Whammo while Whammo was searching for a career in racing. In the future, they would work together well in their service to Hell Burnbottom. Unlike his siblings, Cygnus was single and displayed no affection for his parents after his childhood.

When Mr. Stupid NoHead first rose to power, Cygnus and Whammo were both denied ranks in the NoHeads because they had no superpowers. Whammo continued as a racer, and Cygnus became a mugger. This is when he acquired the alias of The Lunch Money Bandit.


Defeat In 2020Edit

The Lunch Money Bandit took up residence in the remnants of the third NoHead base. He successfully robbed several buildings and buses with hardly a trace, and stole lunch money from children frequently. He committed several murders that could not be directly linked to him. Every time he killed someone, he took their specialized weapons if they had any, and kept it in his arsenal at the NoHead base. He also began spying on Percy and Stephanie. He quickly found out where they lived, and finally decided to track them down and reveal this.

The Lunch Money Bandit later found Percy and Stephanie leaving a theater. As they paused to think about what had happened in the movie, they were cornered by the shady character, who asked them for a dollar. Percy refused, but the antagonist then demanded the money Percy carried for lunch money. As the Lunch Money Bandit escaped to the rooftops with his loot, he was cornered by Baby Intelligence, Baby Strength, and Force Baby - the remnants of the S.M.S.B. - who shook the stolen money off the villain, foiled his grenade with help from Lindsay Kellerman, and threw him into Officer Walltalker’s patrol car.

Following this, Cygnus spent nine months in prison. The tables turned, however, when he found out he had powers of Appiration. After testing it several times, and deciding where to go when the event happened, the Lunch Money Bandit simply Apparated out of his jail cell and reappeared outside, where he began to cackle wickedly. He then left to the City Volcano, which was currently deserted.

Between the WarsEdit

Alliance and Arrest Edit

The Lunch Money Bandit took the rank of NoHead acolyte shortly after his defeat by the S.M.S.B. After Hell Burnbottom’s first defeat in 2020, he fell in with Darren Slade and Whammo Fireball, who were also searching for the NoHead (albeit with Slade possessed by the ghost of Mr. Crooked NoHead). Hoping to get information on his whereabouts, both of them captured two police. Dexter was the first to be captured out of the two. He was subjugated and imprisoned at an undisclosed location, before being heavily tortured by all three of them. The continued, severe use of lightning on the officer left him dead. When the criminals failed to gain any information from him, they targeted his girlfriend, Laura. She, too, was kidnapped, and was tortured in the same manner. Like Dexter, she had no knowledge of Hell Burnbottom’s whereabouts, and so was forced to endure the torture. The continuous use of the lightning on the police left her physically and mentally depleted, and she soon became insane. Cygnus was captured with Whammo and Darren after they tortured the police Dexter and Laura. The Lunch Money Bandit and his allies were brought to trial before the courts, over which his cousin, Mayor Katie Black, presided.

The Lunch Money Bandit was insistent on his innocence, claiming he had merely fallen in with the wrong crowd, and begged the Mayor before the entire assembled Council and witnesses such as the state Senator and the jury to clear him of the charges on the torture crime. The Mayor headed the government at the time and was under extreme pressure to give the appearance of having gotten something done about the terrorism caused by what was left of the NoHeads.

Black chose to make a public example of Evans, and sentenced him to a term of life imprisonment in Beta Prison with no chance of release. However, the trial was no more than an excuse to show how much the Mayor hated the Evans family. He would spend the next decade in maximum security cell. His time in Beta Prison takes a toll on his already unstable mentality.

Escape From Beta Prison Edit

In January 2030, Mr. Stupid NoHead’s ghost orchestrated a mass breakout from Beta Prison. When NoHead possessed Darren Slade, he said through the latter that Whammo and the Lunch Money Bandit were faithful members of his inner circle and should be rewarded, as they did not denounce him after they were captured and tried. With that, he blew a hole in the top of the prison that sent Whammo and the Lunch Money Bandit loose. After the mass breakout, the Lunch Money Bandit rejoined Hell Burnbottom. Burnbottom had little trouble arranging this as several jail guards were frightened by his mere appearance. These two were considered to be some of the most dangerous and highly guarded convicts due to their crimes being brutal and legendary. As a result, Cygnus and Whammo became wanted criminals. They lived in hiding to avoid being captured by the government. Darren Slade defected afterwards, and was killed as a result of his disloyalty. Because he was still loyal to the NoHeads after everything, the Lunch Money Bandit joined Hell Burnbottom and Mr. Stupid NoHead, as did Whammo. The two of them apparated to Bast Castle, using powers that had been negated for so long. The two NoHead Masters needed a loyal follower to help them regain power.

NoHead AllianceEdit

About a year later, the ghost of Mr. Stupid NoHead declared his intentions to take Jonathan’s life as his own, as he had already located the orphan. NoHead departed and attacked ad course. However, Jonathan took up the Sword of Abomination that he had acquired and decapitated him. After this event, Hell Burnbottom was still very weak and about to give up all hope when Whammo Fireball and Cygnus Evans encouraged him to stick to the plan. Left alone to command the remaining NoHeads, Hell Burnbottom said that Whanmo and Cygnus’ applications were to last, though they were NoHead acolytes for the time being and no higher. Burnbottom also revealed that with NoHead’s destruction, the plan had to be altered to just him. Burnbottom planned to regain his old body and strength, and to do this, he required the use of a Dark potion that required him to obtain the three main necessary ingredients: bone of the vulture, egg of the crow, and hair of the hero. Whammo went to retrieve Hell Burnbottom’s sword from the NoHead base. After presenting it to his master, Whammo and the Lunch Money Bandit then traveled to Bast Castle, outside of Lioness graveyard.

Cygnus and Whammo were able to locate Myra Gordon, a Muggle shopkeeper. Although she recognized them, Cygnus and Whammo managed to lure her into Bast Castle, before handing her over to the Dark Lord. Under torture, Myra gave them information that helped Hell Burnbottom, including the whereabouts of their lost snake, Nagatha. With Burnbottom’s permission, the Lunch Money Bandit placed a short-term memory wipe on her so that she would not report the torture. They went to George Thames’ workshop, where Hell Burnbottom’s ghost placed another short-term memory wipe on George and freed Nagatha, having Whammo Apparate to Bast Castle with Nagatha in tow while Cygnus Apparated by himself. All three of them took up temporary residence at Bast Castle. Over time, Whammo tried unsuccessfully to convince Burnbottom to use a subject other than Lindsay Kellerman (whose hairs they needed) to rebuild his body, but Burnbottom saw this as an attempt at desertion and claimed that Whammo was regretting ever returning to him in the first place. On the other hand, Burnbottom was impressed by the Lunch Money Bandit’s unwavering commitment to the NoHead cause and would constantly and openly compare him to Whammo in this regard.

In the summer of 2031, Jonathan was caught intruding and eavesdropping in Bast Castle by Nagatha. When Nagatha reported to Hell Burnbottom, the Dark Lord welcomed the orphan into the room. After challenging Burnbottom to show his face “like a man,” Burnbottom obliged and cast a death beam that took Jonathan’s life. The Lunch Money Bandit then set out to locate a crow egg, he found it when a crow flew to its nest. He immediately fired a freeze beam at it, binding it to the nest to ensure it did not escape his sight. He planned to use its egg when the potion was complete. He then Apparated to Bast Castle and reported that he had found the first ingredient. Hell Burnbottom was so pleased that he used his powers to create two one-dollar bills and told him to get a treat from the Candy Store with it. He also gave him a disguise so he could go unnoticed. Cygnus chose the shop Walgreens to go for.

For their next mission, Whammo Fireball and the Lunch Money Bandit were sent to capture Master Intelligence to stop him from interfering with their plans. The next day, at two in the morning, the two set off for the MBH. When they arrived, Whammo stopped them and pointed out they did not have an official strategy mapped out. Angry, the Lunch Money Bandit began to converse with Whammo on how best to capture him, not knowing Intelligence was awake and could hear them. Due to Whammo Fireball’s subsequent neglect, he managed to locate Cygnus Evans. The Lunch Money Bandit drew his gun and attacked, initiating a brief duel with Master Intelligence. After jetting off toward the ceiling, Cygnus realized he could not win and called Whammo over to him, who quickly showed up and linked hands before they Disapparated away from the MBH empty-handed. When they arrived, the Lunch Money Bandit angrily swore at Whammo as they headed to the Central Chamber to reckon with their master. Hell Burnbottom tortured Whammo with his powers as a punishment. Master Intelligence was highly eluded by the attempt, and realized the NoHeads would return soon.

In order to obtain the second ingredient, Whammo Fireball set off to find a vulture on Hell Burnbottom’s orders and located one in Lioness graveyard. He shot it, then plucked a bone and hid it away. Whammo told Burnbottom of this. Minutes later, Hell Burnbottom told the Lunch Money Bandit to hold up the phone so he could call Whammo. Burnbottom proceeded to order Whammo to send a probe to the MBH. As the probes learned that the S.M.S.B. members were all making plates as an assignment, and reported in, Cygnus left to do a survey on the state capitol’s security. Whammo called Burnbottom back and suggested Burnbottom turn Lindsay’s into a transport that only she would be affected by touching. Burnbottom agreed to that. Although Whammo volunteered to jinx Lindsay’s plate into the secret transport, Hell Burnbottom deemed the Lunch Money Bandit better for the task. When he returned shortly before the restoration, the Lunch Money Bandit was given the task of jinxing Lindsay’s plate into the secret transport. He apparated to the MBH and sneaked inside. There, he sneakily turned the plate into a transport, and apparated back without a trace. Meanwhile, Burnbottom and Whammo proceeded to Lioness graveyard, where Whammo prepared the Dark potion.

Third NoHead WarEdit

Return of Hell BurnbottomEdit

As Whammo Fireball and Hell Burnbottom proceeded to Lioness graveyard to prepare the potion, the Lunch Money Bandit searched for Burnbottom’s sword, unaware that Whammo had it already. As he had planned it, Lindsay was transported to the Lioness graveyard when she touched the plate. It was at this time that Whammo performed the ritual on Lindsay by slicing off three of her hairs off to restore Hell Burnbottom’s physical body, also using a crow’s egg and a dead vulture’s bone.

Unable to find the sword, Cygnus finally Apparated from a NoHead symbol and into the graveyard moments after Hell Burnbottom’s return. Burnbottom immediately rounded on him and declared him to be “an official NoHead” like Whammo. Whammo said it was an honor, and Cygnus agreed. When Lindsay Disapparated, Burnbottom left to fight her, and the Lunch Money Bandit laughed when Lindsay hid and Burnbottom mockingly reminded her they were not playing hide-and-seek. He witnessed the following sword duel between the two opponents. When Lindsay made to escape, he stood by, as Burnbottom had ordered him and Whammo not to do anything. After the fight, they returned to Bast Castle together with Nagatha. It was this event that made it clear that Cygnus was now actively a NoHead.

Final Battle Edit

When Hell Burnbottom planted a false vision in Sebiscuits’ mind, hoping to convince him only he has the power to stop him, the Lunch Money Bandit waited by his side; he and Whammo both entered the edge of the Tri-battlements after Burnbottom used lightning against Sebiscuits’ crippled and strangled form to win the duel, and Cygnus watched as Whammo checked on Burnbottom. Burnbottom demanded that someone check to see if Sebiscuits was, in fact, dead, a deed Whammo volunteered to perform. However, the Lunch Money Bandit volunteered. Striding over to his body and seeing Burnbottom had succeeded, Cygnus asserted that Sebiscuits was indeed dead. He and Whammo followed Hell Burnbottom to the front to announce Sebiscuits’ death. However, Sebiscuits came back to life soon after.

When the battle resumed, the Lunch Money Bandit fought Sebiscuits. Despite Sebiscuits’ skill, he did not equal Cygnus' abilities. He cast a beam that trapped Sebiscuits; this enraged Red X, who promptly engaged in her own duel with the NoHead. The Lunch Money Bandit did not take Red X seriously in the least, initially taunting her and calling her a twerp.

The duel continued, however, and the ground beneath the two combatants became hot and cracked as their battle progressed. While Cygnus laughed at his opponent, Red X managed to strike him in the chest with a beam that turned him to stone. As his body toppled to the ground, Red X gloated briefly.

Death Edit

After the battle ended, the Lunch Money Bandit’s statue was recovered in the last days of the war. Days later, it would be burned outside the Town Hall.

Physical DescriptionEdit

Cygnus Evans is tall and thin, standing at about 6’4. He had a strong chin and a crooked hook nose, with wavy hair protruding from the back of his head in a ridiculous and artificial style. The appearance of his original hair is unknown. He is almost always seen wearing red robes; he has a green jumpsuit underneath that is partially visible under the robes, which are tied together with a belt made of rope. He also has a strong chin and curiously has no eyelashes.

Personality and TraitsEdit

Cygnus Evans was diabolical, extremely intelligent, cunning, and intensely hateful. He was obviously a quite powerful man, having demonstrated sufficient ability to transform a plate into a transport and defeat Sebiscuits in combat. The Lunch Money Bandit was also perceptively observant and exceptionally manipulative.

The Lunch Money Bandit was extremely devoted to Hell Burnbottom and regarded him as a father figure. His loyalty was matched only by Whammo Fireball. He also seemed to know an unusual amount of things about Burnbottom. However, Cygnus’ immense loyalty to Hell Burnbottom blinded him to those who truly loved him, namely his mother. They sacrificed much to give him a second chance at a happy life, which Cygnus tragically wasted in his obsession to reunite with the NoHeads. As with many other NoHeads, Cygnus had deluded himself into believing that he alone understood their master, and that they were closest to each other due to their commons, to which was in fact not true as Mr. Stupid NoHead never desired a friend nor understood human affections.

One reason for the Lunch Money Bandit’s behavior may be the fact that he had no friends in childhood, this coupled with his twisted nature, possibly affected his mental stability. The year he spent in Beta Prison also furthered his mental decline. He was also possibly very sadistic, laughing at Red X’s despair over Sebiscuits’ death.


Cygnus is a northern constellation known as the Swan or the Northern Cross. It was named for several swans which appear in Greek mythology, including the one Zeus transformed into to seduce Leda, the form Orpheus took after his death, and a son of the god Apollo who was turned into a swan after his murder. The name is derived from the Greek κύκνος, kyknos, meaning “swan”. Cygnus was named for this because his parents loved him so and he was indeed sweet when he was a boy. Evans is a Welsh or English surname derived from the given name Evan. As a Welsh name, Evan means “young warrior”; it can also be considered a form of the name John, (named after the apostle John) meaning “God is gracious and merciful”.