Zira Miranda Grover was created by D. Isaac Thomas, the creator of the Boys vs. Girls trilogy, but was known only as the Queen until her identification with Eegan Grover. The 2013 anthology of short stories Tales of Royalty explored the lives and backstories of the patrons of her court, revealing that many of them were plotting to kill her.
Early Life Edit
- "I know my life holds more. But what?"
- ―Zira Grover
Rise to Power Edit
After a year of training, Zira Grover finally became a Senator for Arizona in 1985. She convinced the people to vote her the first woman president, and soon was voted in 1990, becoming the youngest to serve. Then, through many deceptions and killings, she finally became the Empress. Her speech comforted most of her decision, but a year later many people wished they hadn’t voted for her.
Under her reign, crime often went unnoticed and was rarely apprehended. Zira lived in her palace and rarely left it. Wherever she was, she liked to eat nine meals a day. For Meals 1 and 2 she always ate a big bowl of sugar cereal with candy and whipped cream instead of raisins and milk. For the others she ate fried chicken, French fries, and cookies. She never even had to walk — her throne reclined and took her around her palace and to her retrofitted limousine. Her throne also folded into her bed. Although she never laid a hand on any of them, she was also responsible for the deaths of several people, including Danny, Abu, Sectumre, and her parents. While she laid back in comfort the guards did the killings on her command.
Recruiting B-490 and Ariana Edit
At some point, she also encountered Ariana. Her ability to divine the future, as well as her incredible reputation, attracted Zira to her. Eventually, Zira hired her as a permanent member of her staff. (This is good coming from Zira, who is fairly disdainful of hiring bounty hunters that are robots or females.) As Zira's secret fighter, Ariana carried out a number of successful missions on her own.
In the meantime, B-490 traveled New Mexico, becoming a wanted thief and information broker, though his programming prevented him from actually harming anyone. Before long, B-490, who had traveled to Arizona a renegade, had come to Zira Grover's attention. Zira quickly realized that such an intelligent robot would make an excellent bounty hunter in her ranks. The Queen provided B-490 with a state-of-the-art programming upgrade — which bypassed his primary programming and allowed the robot to use violence — in exchange for his services as a bounty hunter. B-490 accepted, and became the first robotic bounty hunter in the world under Zira's support. Because the only thing B-490 lacked was intuition, he made it his goal to acquire this quality. Eventually, Zira realized that B-490 was making no breakthroughs in his desire for intuition, and suggested that B-490 team up with Ariana, a former findsman who was a master of intuition. The two embarked on what would become a lucrative partnership. Zira was particularly fond of the duo, though they were also known to work for the Girl-Team under Natalia Thornton.
Iran War Edit
Eventually, Zira Miranda Grover learned of a fierce war in Iran, which was previously called Persia. Finally, she could no longer stand idly by as more and more innocent people died. To circumvent this, Zira sent the majority of her army to fight in the war. This left only around 150 guards remaining in Arizona.
Death of Sectumre Edit
In 2014, Zira became pregnant with the baby that would one day become a Prince. Hoping to assassinate Zira, a criminal named Sectumre breached her palace and murdered her husband. He then entered the throne room. Zira attempted to lift a sword to fight back, but struggled. Sectumre slashed her across the back, tearing off a large piece of her clothing. A guard angrily intervened, disarming Sectumre after a brief bout of bladework. He then slashed him, running him through several times for good measure. Afterwards, the guard presented her with a present to make up for earlier failures - a tight, revealing rubber shirt. When Zira asked what occasions she would have use for it on, he suggested she wear it in private when she was feeling hot.
Visiting Helen McKeen Edit
School War and Aftermath Edit
Eventually Zira Grover had a baby, whom she named Eegan. During the School War, Zira requested the Boy-Team help her find her son in exchange for support during the war. She had dispatched a group of bounty hunters who tracked her son to a remote dungeon, but none of them came back alive. Emily Watson and the Girl-Team kidnapped Zira’s son, allowed Steven Thompson and Summer Petersen to get him back, and employed lies and an all-out assault to get him back and to curry the monarch’s favor. Ultimately, the Boy-Team proved victorious and eventually earned Zira’s trust for a time, however, Zira’s army was spread too thinly to support a war in Iraq, which was previously Persia. Therefore, her army could not help the Boy-Team.
Nolan Coulson's RequestEdit
he year after Eegan's rescue, Zira was visited by Baron Nolan Coulson, whose daughters had been kidnapped by Avara, a bounty hunter in Zira's employ. The chairman was able to reason with the Empress as a fellow parent, who, like Nolan, knew all too well what it was like to have her child be taken from her. Avara insisted that he was not responsible, but Zira allowed a blood sample to be taken from her bounty hunter so it could be compared to blood found at the scene of the crime. Avara admitted to kidnapping the chairman's daughters out of wanting leverage against the Baron, and Nolan took the culprit with him. In the Town Hall, Avara was given a trial for which Nolan was present. When Avara insisted that there was no proof, Nolan insisted that he was wrong. To prove this, he had Black call Zira, who was resting behind the curtains to her throne and wearing her rubber shirt. Jim Newman answered the phone for her, but then claimed that Nolan needed to talk with Zira personally. As he held up the phone, Zira assured the Mayor that Nolan spoke the truth. After this, Avara was imprisoned for the kidnapping, and Nolan was soon reunited with his children.
The Capture of Helen McKeenEdit
When Natalia Thornton hired the Sensei's team members to assist in the capture of Helen McKeen, Zira Miranda Grover immediately saw her chance to obtain Helen and furfill the promise that Helen would become her slave. For the task, she insisted that B-490 and Ariana interfere. Having been at unfriendly terms with Helen, the Empress was greatly pleased with Helen’s delivery by Xydarone. On Zira’s orders, Helen was chained to a seat on the other side of the throne room.
Evading the Boy-TeamEdit
Mission to the PalaceEdit
Despite Zira Miranda Grover's victory over Helen, the Boy-Team wanted Helen back, and to do so, they concocted an elaborate plan. First, Anakin Organa went to Zira with a message. Passing the guards, the mind-tricked Taylor Carter delivered Anakin’s message, asking to bargain for Helen. Bemused, Zira rejected the offer.
Afterward, Zira listened to her musicians sing “Beautiful Life,” as Thomas Carter, her slave, danced for her. Demanding a repeat, Zira tried to bring Thomas to her, but he resisted and Zira ordered her guards to murder him. Directly after, Summer Petersen, disguised as the mercenary Xydarone, entered the room and asked for directions to Xydarone’s room. Once in range, Summer remained in the Palace, waiting for evening.
Later that night, Summer freed Helen from her chains. However, Zira caught them. Helen tried to bargain with the monarch, saying that she was sidetracked, but Zira said it was too late. Helen was put in a cell while Summer was taken as Zira’s new slave.
The next day, Anakin Organa finally arrived at Zira’s Palace. Zira had let herself open, but she donned a robe quickly. Anakin demanded the return of Helen and Summer, warning that Zira would be destroyed if she didn’t comply. After Anakin Force pulled a gun from a neighboring guard, Zira caused the young Jedi to drop down a trap door, into the lair of Zira’s monster. The monster emerged. After bashing its claw with a rock and ramming a bone into its mouth, Anakin ran between the beast’s legs to the other side of the lair. There, he managed to kill the ferocious beast by grabbing a torpedo launcher and killing the monster.
Natalia was present at Zira’s Palace, disguised as the dancing girl Erica, planning to kill Anakin. However, a particularly loyal guard suspected her of being out to assassinate the Queen and attempted to have her imprisoned, despite failing this she had made it impossible for Natalia to complete her mission.
Battle of the Gargoyle Cave Edit
- "Tell that to the gargoyle, kid! Take them away!"
- ―Zira, 30 minutes before her death[src]
Later, once they reached the pit, Zira offered the prisoners a chance to beg for mercy. Anakin warned Zira once more, but the queen ignored the offer and ordered them to be thrown in. Just as Anakin was to be thrown to the gargoyle, Helen tossed Anakin’s lightsaber. Anakin immediately launched an attack against the guards, causing a state of panic to break out onboard the limo as Zira ordered her guards to stop Anakin. Taylor prepared to follow them, but Zira beckoned him to stay. After witnessing Xydarone's death, Zira began squirming roughly in anger, and her shirt tore slightly. Taylor asked her if she was all right. Confirming this, Zira ordered the guards to fire on the skiff. Amid the chaos, Summer danced briefly, distracting Zira.
During the distraction, Summer jumped over Zira, wrapped her chain around the Empress, and strangled her until Zira fell unconscious. Believing Zira to have died, Summer ceased strangulation. After being freed from her restraints, Summer was able to escape with the others and sped away from the exploding limo, believing Zira dead. As the limo exploded, however, Taylor made up his mind and went to fetch Zira’s unconscious form. A guard helped him rush her body to a speeder, where they escaped the following explosion.
When Taylor and the surviving guard arrived at her palace, they kept Zira’s coffin in the foyer. There, Zira awoke and revealed that she was just fine. She ordered the others to bury her as a ploy to ensure the Boy-Team believed her dead, and Taylor took a picture of her "corpse" inside the tomb. After that, the guards lifted her out of the pit and helped her onto her throne. From there, they rode back to the Palace. Zira finally used the emergency boosters to transport the Palace to Maryland, accidentally leaving Jim Newman behind.
Return to ArizonaEdit
In 2018, Zira Grover finally returned to Arizona, Palace and all, and commended Jim Newman for his work rebuilding her Empire. In order to bet on Tyler during a subsequent race, Baby Intelligence agreed to meet Zira in order to borrow money from the monarch. Jim Newman gave him directions, which led to an arena under Zira’s throne room. Zira offered Intelligence twenty-five dollars if he could defeat her monstrous champion in a death match. Baby Intelligence was able to achieve victory over the beast, and took the money. He then left the arena after Zira. Impressed by his skill and cunning, Zira opened the exit for him. From there, the tailor led Baby Intelligence to his transport, and he returned to New York City.
During the Third NoHead War, Hell Burnbottom breached Zira's Palace. From there, he quickly gained access to Zira's throne room, where he requested Zira assist the Elite NoHeads in the upcoming war, having made a treaty for the event. When Zira refused to cooperate, Burnbottom declared that Zira was of no use to him and then used his sword to kill her personally. The guards immediately attacked him, though Burnbottom ultimately escaped. Zira's corpse was later recovered by Jim Newman and another guard, who were both heartbroken.
The Bond of Souls prevented Zira Grover from ever coming back, and Jim Newman had come to truly care for Zira now. With his dreams shattered, Jim fell into a deep depression and lived as a pauper in Palmyra, selling his valuables to survive in order to gain some money. Specifically, he sold the teleportation device to George Thames, for only forty dollars, either not knowing that it was one of the Arts and a priceless artifact, no longer caring, or a desire to sever ties with his former life and valuing the paltry profits much more than the painful reminder of when his life was better. In 2037, Jim still believed he had nowhere left to go. As a result, he finally drew his own poisonous dagger and stabbed himself.
A month later, Jim Newman would be found dead in September, though securities would be very baffled that he was found right next to Tyler Grant Sr. To circumvent their suspicions, they visited and interrogated Tyler’s family, learning from them that Tyler had no weapons when he went to the scene of his death. Curiously, however, they deliberately withheld the way Tyler died, although the police already knew what had happened. Their reasons for this are unclear.
Physical Description Edit
Zira Miranda Grover was described as being beautiful but obese. As a desert monk she was thin and wore green and red rags. But during her rise to power she rarely exercised and had food of plenty. As president she was overweight, having weighed 190 pounds.
However, as Empress she never, ever exercised. Her throne guided her around her palace, and while she sat in comfort, eating sweets and gaining weight, her guards did all her physical tasks. Now she had blonde, long hair, blue, gleaming eyes, and a soft, huge midriff. As a result of her guards doing her physical tasks and never exercising, she had no stomach muscles and was exceptionally wimpy. Although she usually wore her robes of state, she let herself open in private, wearing tight clothes that exposed her midriff and arms. Her big belly and lack of muscle were both results of her eating sweets constantly, as well as nine meals a day made entirely of junk food. Although Zira was 6’1, her belly stretched her to 6’5 eventually.
Zira never suffered from zits or diabetes. This was due to body functions, not special medical treatment. Her BMI was 98.3.
Personality and Traits Edit
- "Don't stray too far, my lovely. After the carange is over, you will learn to appreciate me."
- ―Zira to Summer
Despite her greedy and twisted nature, Zira had shown a softer side as evident when she was overjoyed at the return of her baby and refused to kill his savior, Summer Petersen, after she conspired against her. Zira cared about and respected family, to a certain extent. Likewise, she also seemed to contain some empathy to other people’s love, as seen when she allowed a Senator, who arrived to find his daughters, to present evidence and arrest the bounty hunter responsible for their disappearance after the Senator reminded her of her love for her own son. She also expressed regret when Helen implied that she thought her relationship with Zira was based on a debt, not on friendship. She had a measure of fondness for her, though she was upset when she suspected Helen had participated in Eegan’s kidnapping and placed a bounty on her head. Sometimes she was open-minded and surprisingly gentle. She also delighted in giving the guards a break. As they played, she smiled from her throne and even tried to join them.
Zira’s hobbies were watching TV, resting, eating junk food, and watching dances from the comfort of her throne. These she usually did in her rubber shirt.
Talents and AbilitiesEdit
Zira Grover is highly intelligent and calculating, often thinking several clever strategies. However, she is far from physically fit. She can barely move around and is defenseless on her own, instead relying on numerous henchmen and slaves to get what she wants.
Zira is very wimpy on her own and has a level of overconfidence. After an undisclosed amount of time of having Summer as her servant, Zira thought she had made good progress in breaking the resilient General, and looked forward to teaching her. She would thus be shocked by Summer’s violent revolt against her on the limousine during the Battle at the Gargoyle Cave. Summer took advantage of the resulting confusing to take poetic revenge on her captor, strangling her with the chain she had used to keep her from escaping the car. When she had first captured her, Summer had threatened her that she would live to regret it, and she fully kept her word.
Zira Grover placed considerable energy into eating and her own weight gain. Indeed, she spends just about as much time eating her favorite foods as she does on her Imperial dealings or indulging in her slaves. Although Zira still consumes nine meals a day, she also has adopted a liftestyle of perpetual snacking, in which the obese Empress would always have her food within easy reach. At her current age, the Empress had become so grossly fat that she had planted her immobile body onto her throne, where she could continue to rule her empire directly and still indulge in her gluttonous ways.
Zira Miranda Grover has been Anakin's enemy ever since Xydarone delivered Helen McKeen to the former's home.
- "She’s seriously got beautiful written all over her, from her thick hair and big belly right down to her gleaming blue eyes. She can be quite fierce from time to time but deep down she has a gentle heart and really just wants to be left alone."
- ―Taylor Carter describing Zira, shortly after her death